


Face The Pain

by EnchantressofAsgard



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:11:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantressofAsgard/pseuds/EnchantressofAsgard
Summary: Steve breaks up with the reader and she decides to leave with the Guardians to get over him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing about Steve or the Avengers in general but I had the idea and couldn't let it pass. Also this hasn't been proof read so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

It seemed like the days passed by like one. It was no different; wake up, mope around the compound and then go to sleep. Well, not really. Ever since Steve had broken up with you sleep didn’t come to you easily and when it did you’d wake up a few hours later skin sticking with sweat and your breath rugged from the nightmares. Nightmares that he only managed to chase away and now that he didn’t care they were back only ten times worse.

 

Going to a mission was out of the question for you, not because you didn’t want to but the non fully healed wound on your upper thigh prevented you from going back in the field. Not even that but you couldn’t for the most part go to the gym. Your movements were limited so the only thing left for you to do was to drink to numb the pain since you couldn’t do anything else. 

 

So here you were once again getting out of bed at nine in the morning and going towards the kitchen dressed in a simple t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants hoping to get a cup of coffee without anyone bothering you. Not that you had a problem with the rest of the avengers, after all they were your family but ever since the break up everyone kept walking in eggshells around you and you didn’t want that. You didn’t want their pity, you didn’t want anyone treating you differently and they didn’t seem to get that.

 

As you neared the kitchen you could hear voices coming from inside which only meant that everyone was having breakfast together and when you entered the kitchen your suspicions were answered. All the avengers were having breakfast including the person you wanted to avoid the most, Steve. 

 

The conversation was flowing until they spotted you and everyone went silent making you roll your eyes. “Jesus, you don’t have to do that every time I enter a room.” You muttered walking to the coffee machine and taking out a mug filling it with coffee almost to the brim.

 

“How are you today, Y/N?” Bruce asked turning around in his chair glancing at your leg. “Any pain?”

 

“Same as yesterday.” you shrugged taking a sip of your coffee to avoid spilling any but not making any move to join them at the table “Is Dr. Cho still coming in today?” you asked Tony who nodded while eating a bite of his food.

 

“She should be here around noon. I got an email from her last night, I’m pretty sure she found the solution to your problem. So you should be fully healed earlier than expected.” you almost smiled at his answer it was all you wanted for your wound to heal and for you to get back in the field.

 

“Great. I need to get back to fully training and back in the field as soon as possible.” you took your coffee ready to leave and go back to your room when a voice stopped you. “Excuse me?” you snapped eyes shooting daggers at your ex-boyfriend.

 

“I said, you’re not getting back in the field until I say so.” Steve spoke his tone of voice meant to give you no room to reply.

“And who made you the boss of everything?” you shot back, everyone starring between you and Steve with Natasha muttering ‘oh boy’ knowing that a fight was coming. Steve hasn’t spoken to you the last three weeks after you broke up and the first thing he says is that? 

 

“Since I’m in charge of this team and I can’t let anything or anyone compromise it.” he snapped eyes hard his stare not moving away from yours.

 

“And since when do I compromise the team?” you demanded by this point really close to losing your temper with what you were hearing.

 

“You got reckless, injured and almost ruined the mission. Or did you forget that?” he replied his voice getting louder and Tony stood up to try and stop the situation from getting any worse.

 

“Look, guys-” you completely ignored him too mad to even try and be the bigger person and walk away.

 

“Oh, you mean the mission where I saved your ass and completed the mission.” you replied and before he had a chance to say anything you continued voice filled with sarcasm “What is it  _ Captain _ ? You can’t handle it when someone else saves the day? You always have to be the hero right?” 

 

“This is not what this is about.” Steve replied standing up his hole posture betraying how furious he was.

 

“The what is it about? Seems to me lately you’re doing a lot of things without giving any explanation.” your hands trembled and you saw coffee spilling to the floor but you couldn’t care right now.

 

“The point is you being reckless and disobeying orders compromises the team. My team!” he pointed at himself and you shook your head disappointed and sad. Frankly, you couldn’t recognize the person Steve had become after he broke up with you.

 

“Well maybe it’s about time I leave the team.” you replied voice low and empty of any fight you had left in you. You just couldn’t live like this anymore.

 

All the avengers looked at you stunned of what you had just said but you just turned around and left the room feeling the hot tears burning your eyes. 

Steve sat down on his chair cursing under his breath for what had just happened while everyone around him continued with eating their food the awkwardness after you left hanging in the air.

 

“Good job, pal.” Bucky spoke low from his place next to Steve and Steve could only shoot a glare at his best friend because he knew he was right. 

 

You went back to you room abandoning the cup of coffee you had dragged with you and sat on the still unmade bed hot tears running down your face. You wiped at the furiously angry at yourself for crying over a man who didn’t care about you, who didn’t love you but how dare he talk to you like that. You had sacrificed everything for this team and now he told you that you weren’t to be trusted. That you would compromise the team if you went in the field. Well, screw him. 

 

You tried really hard to keep it together after the break up and right now it was proving impossible to keep doing that. You hands were shaking, your legs were bobbing up and down and the tears simply wouldn’t stop. Before you knew it the cup of coffee you brought with you was shuttered and the wall was covered with the dark brown liquid.

 

Before you knew it you had gotten up breaking everything that could be broken inside your bedroom feeling better every time something shattered. All the anger you had bottled down, all the feelings that were eating you alive every passing day seemed to be going away for a few seconds when you broke something, whether it was small or bad.

 

“Friday, what is that noise?” Tony asked when everyone heard thumbing sounds coming from somewhere inside the compound. They all stopped and look at each other waiting for an answer.

 

“I believe ms. Y/L/N is trying to break her bedroom window with a chair.” the AI responded after a few seconds.

 

“Dammit!.” Tony muttered as he got up going towards your room the rest of the avengers following behind incase you needed help, after all they didn’t know you were having a breakdown.

 

“Y/N!” Tony yelled opening the door to your room seeing broken stuff and your clothes on the floor while you threw a chair in the window that you knew wouldn’t break. “Y/N!” he yelled again when he saw that you hadn’t even realised he was in the room.

 

“Stupid thing!.”you fumed throwing the damaged chair to your left seeing the lamp on the bedside table to going for it getting ready to throw it against the window when two arms wrapped around you.

 

“Let me go!” you struggled against the hold and you were sure you looked like a crazy person but you didn’t have the energy to care.

 

“Kid, you need to calm down okay? That window is not going to break and you’re gonna hurt yourself.” you heard Tony speaking beside your ear and you stopped fighting him but as soon as you turned to the left you saw everyone who was standing there, Natasha, Wanda,Clint, Bruce, Bucky, Sam and you saw Steve too.

 

“Get out! Tell him to get out, Stark, now!” you demanded and Tony upon realising who were you talking about he spoke his arms still around you, preventing you for throwing and breaking anything else.

 

“Guys, if you could just...give us the room. I got this.” he pleaded and they nodded turning around and leaving the room but the door stayed open. 

 

“Okay, I’m gonna let you go now try not to break my head with a lamp, alright?” Tony stepped back releasing his hold on you and you took a step away from him trying to catch your breath.

 

“What’s going on?” he asked placing his hand on your shoulder and you turned to look at him your face and eyes red and filled with tears.

 

“I- I can’t…” you tried to get out.

 

“Just breathe, Y/N.” Tony tried to help you and you nodded trying to take a few deep breaths. 

 

“Everything is messed up, I can’t train, I can’t go into the field apparently, I can’t do anything.” you said and Tony looked at you sympathetically.

 

“We’re gonna fix that okay? Dr. Cho will be here in a few hours and then you’re gonna be back to training in no time.” he tried to calm you down but you just shook your head a fresh wave of tears making its way down your face.

 

“You don’t understand...every since…”you trailed off sniffling “I can’t do anything, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.” you cried “I’ve slept for four hours the last two days. My brain can barely function all I do is sit in this room and mop around because there’s nothing left for me to do. All I have was the team and he’s taking it away too.” you sobbed and Tony came forward and hugged you letting you cry to his shoulder before he pulled you back and gave you a small smile.

 

“Look, I’m gonna take care of the room, and you’re gonna get ready for Dr. Cho. Alright? We’ll talk more once you’ve calmed down.”

 

“Okay…” you whispered and Tony patted your shoulder turning away and cursing under his breath when he stepped on a piece of glass.

 

Steve heard the sound and left as quickly as he could not wanting anyone to realize he had heard your conversation.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later you were with Dr. Cho, Tony and Bruce down at the med bay under some kind of machinery that Dr. Cho promised to make you as good as new.

 

“Dr. Cho, not that I doubt you or anything but are we sure this is gonna work?” you looked nervously at her glancing down at the machine working on your leg.

 

“I’m sure, Y/N.” she smiled reassuringly at you checking to see if everything was going well. “You’ll be ready to go into training tomorrow if that’s what you wish to do.”

 

“You can’t imagine how happy I am to hear that.” you gave her a small smile and she went back to checking your vitals and talking with Bruce when she needed to.

 

“How you doing, kid.?” Tony came and gave you a drink while checking in on you.

 

“Better...sorry about before. I don’t know what came over me.” you confessed avoiding eye contact and he squeezed your shoulder.

 

“It’s alright. I’m sure the last few weeks have been tough on you. Just think you’ll be able to go back to training tomorrow. Break something in the gym instead of your room , hey?” he joked and you actually felt a small chuckle escaping your lips. 

 

“Yeah…” you trailed off as he left taking a few sips and leaving your drink next to you.

* * *

 

At night sleep wouldn’t come, you tossed and turned but still you couldn’t fall asleep so when you saw the clock turning to 5 am you were out of bed and getting ready to head down to the gym.

 

Your leg really felt as good as new there wasn’t even a scar there anymore it’s like you were never injured. 

 

You were at the gym for a few hours punching the boxing bag over and over again trying to relieve the stress and anger from your body when you heard the door opened. For a moment you feared that it was Steve and you were about to gather your things and leave when you noticed Natasha and Bucky coming in talking about something.

 

“Well, this is a surprise.” Natasha smirked walking over Bucky following her.

 

“Dr. Cho cleared me. I’m good to go so here I am.” you replied taking off the gloves placing them on the bench near the bag and taking off your water.

 

“You’re here early…” Bucky noticed and you shrugged.

 

“Couldn’t sleep…” you paused to drink water and missed the look Natasha and Bucky shared between them.

 

“So Nat? Wanna help me get back in the game?” you asked her raising an eyebrow.

 

“You weren’t gone that long.” she replied crossing her arms “But yeah, I’ll help you.” 

 

“Hey!” protested Bucky “Who am I gonna train with then?” he yelled as you and Natasha were leaving going towards the mat where you could spar without fear of getting injured.

 

“I’m sure Sam will be glad to assist you.” Natasha yelled back as a reply and Bucky mumbled something before getting ready and taking the place you occupied earlier behind the punching bag.

 

This is how your days went. Wake up go to the gym, where you would spent most of you day, then eat something hang out anywhere that Steve was absent from and the struggle to sleep before you got up and do it all over again.

 

It was getting pretty tiring but it was the only way to distract your mind although the not sleeping thing didn’t seem to be much of a help. You had tried everything but even if you managed to fall asleep you would wake up a few hours later from nightmares you couldn’t even remember sometimes.

 

“Ms. Y/L/N.” Fridays voice came from above you. “You are needed in the briefing room.” you got up from the desk you were currently sitting on doing some paperwork.

 

“Do you know what is about Friday?” you asked the AI while walking down the long hallway.

 

“I believe the Guardians are here, m’am.” she replied and you looked at the ground in disbelief. What are the Guardians doing here?

 

* * *

 

 

Upon entering the briefing room you saw all the Avengers including the Guardians talking something that stopped once Quill spotted you.

 

“Well looks who’s here.” he exclaimed moving towards you “It’s been a while Y/N.” he continued pulling you into a hug to greet you.

 

“It’s hard to keep in contact with someone who’s in space, Peter.” you said pulling back looking at the rest of the team and noticing a new face.

 

You looked at the rest of the team before moving closer to greet them as well. “I am groot.” came groot’s voice from Rocket’s shoulder.

 

“I know, I missed you too buddy.” you patted his head. 

 

“And this is Mantis.” Peter introduced the new member of the teams and you extended your hand to greet her. “Y/N, you might want to-” 

 

“Hey, I’m Y/N.” Peter didn’t have time to warn you before Mantis took your hand in hers in addition to the rest of the Avengers who had been warned about her powers and were looking at you with wide eyes.

“Hi!” Mantis replied enthusiastically before her expression changed. “Oh, your sadness it’s too much.” you saw as she got tears in her eyes “You’re heartbroken.” she continued and you look frightened around you seeing everyone staring at you before your turned to Peter for help.

 

“Okay, Mantis enough.” he intervened taking both your hands and breaking them apart, Mantis breathing heavily and wiping at her eyes. “Mantis can read your feelings through contact.” 

 

“Well it would have been nice to know a minute earlier.” you snapped angry that the whole room including Steve knew how you felt, how you were still heartbroken ever since he broke up with you.

 

“I’m sorry.” Mantis apologised “But you’re so sad, I could feel your heart aching.”

 

“Mantis!” Gamora hissed and she took a step back standing next to Drax.

 

“Alright.” Tony’s voice suddenly broke the moment which you were thankful for and you stood near the wall wrapping your arms around yourself feeling vulnerable after Mantis’s revelation. “Star- Lord, tell us what’s going on.”

 

You basically tuned out whatever it was said thinking about what Mantis had revealed in front of everyone, you just wanted the ground to open and swallow you whole. Your gaze was locked to the ground when you felt eyes on you and you lifted your head locking eyes with Steve who was looking at you, his face unreadable. 

 

“Y/N? Are you in? This is an all hands on deck situation.” Tony asked and you glanced at Steve daring him to say anything about you not being cleared by him for a mission yet.

 

When he simply nodded at Tony you replied with a ‘yes’ before storming out of the room and going towards the roof to have some time to yourself.

 

“You’re really hard to find ya know?” you heard Peter’s voice a while later as he took a sit next to you on the roof.

 

“Sorry, just needed some fresh air.” you sniffled wiping at your eyes to get rid of the tears.

 

“What’s going on?” he nudged your shoulder looking at you with sympathetic eyes. “Did something happen with mr. America?” 

 

“About two months ago, I took a bullet to the leg trying to protect him. It hit an artery...I almost bled out.” you explained playing with your hands to avoid looking at him. “Two weeks later he broke up with me.”

 

“I’m sorry…” he murmured wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him accepting the comfort.

It felt nice to speak with someone who wasn’t on the team, sure you had confided in Natasha and Wanda but you didn’t want to bring them into an awkward position with Steve. But Peter was a friend you could always count on. 

 

Ever since the Avengers started doing missions with the Guardians you and Peter had became close. Your personalities much and you made a great even though sometimes annoying pair as friends.

 

“Hey, Pete, can I ask you something?” you ask turning your face to get a better look at him and he nodded prompting you to continue with your question. “Do you think you have the room for one more in the Milano?”

 

* * *

 

 

The mission you exhausting to say the least how did Hydra had come upon alien technology it was beyond you but you had managed to put a stop on their activities. Everyone had injuries albeit small and everyone was ready to sleep for at least a week but not you.

 

“Quill, you’re staying for a while?” Tony asked handing a drink to Peter the avengers and the guardians sitting in the spacious kitchen in the avengers tower. 

 

“Rocket should have the ship ready in a couple of hours.” Peter replied giving you a subtle look and you nodded ready to break the news to your team.

 

“Hey, Y/N, maybe we should put off that training session we were talking about tomorrow.” Natasha spoke rubbing at her shore leg a small grimace on her face.

 

“Um...yeah sure.” you replied taking a deep breath and clearing your throat. “Actually...I won’t be here tomorrow.” you stated and the room fell silent everyone turning and looking at you questioningly.

 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna be here tomorrow?” Steve was the one who responded first and you were taken aback by the hurtful look in his eyes. 

 

“I mean I’ll be leaving tonight. With the Guardians.” You straightened your uniform suddenly feeling nervous and unable to look Steve in the eyes. 

 

“Will you come back?” Wanda asked this time and the rest of them nodded like they wanted to ask the very same question themselves. 

 

“Of course I will.” you rushed to answer “Guys, you are my team that won’t change...I just...I need to do this. For me.”  _ so I can find myself again  _ you let out the last part and look at your team who were still skeptical of your decision. 

 

“Y/N will be fine with us…” Gamora spoke looking at you with a ghost of a smile Drax and Mantis nodding behind her. 

 

“I mean...yeah we know our way around space.” Peter shrugged and smirked with Gamora shaking her head at his antics.

 

You laughed as well but it was cut short by a loud sound and you turned your gaze seeing the empty chair that Steve was sitting on. 

 

“I should go gather my stuff…” you mumbled out an excuse while rushing out to catch Steve.

 

You felt like you owed him an explanation even though he was the one who broke up with you. Because he might not care about you but you did. That’s one of the reasons why you had to leave, you had to get over him.

 

“Steve…” you inquired seeing the open door to his room, a room you used to share, when he didn’t answer and simply stared outside you went in closing the door behind you to get some privacy.

 

“Steve.” you tried again now standing in front of him from where he was standing looking out the window.

 

“Is it because of what I said the other day?” he suddenly turned around looking at you straight in the eyes and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. 

 

“No...that’s not it.” you shook your head sadly. 

 

“Then what?” he demanded “Why are you leaving?”

 

“Because you broke my heart!” you exclaimed tears gathering in your eyes “You heard Mantis...I had to sit there while she told everyone how sad and heartbroken I am and I can’t do this. I can’t heal if I’m here, if I see you everyday knowing I can’t have you.” Steve stood still accepting every word you said knowing that he was at fault. 

 

“You broke up with me, Steve. Not the other way around, I never wanted a break up. But you said your feelings for me where gone...you said you didn’t love me and I accepted that because all I want is for you to be happy and if you’re now happy with me then fine.” you continued your chest with your every breath. 

 

“But mine aren’t. I still love you, Steve.” your voice broke a sob escaping your lips and you hastily whipped at your eyes the tears blurring your vision. “I don’t know how to live without you. So I need to go, I need to get over you.”

 

“All I ever wanted was to protect you. I wanted you safe.” he spoke after a few moments voice low and broken. “I never wanted to hurt you.” he admitted and you nodded staring at his now teary eyes. 

 

“Just be safe, Y/N.” he said and you looked at each other, you didn’t know what you were waiting for; a hug maybe a kiss something. You didn’t expect him to just nod his head at you and to pass by you leaving the room. 

 

You stood alone staring at the empty room that held so many good memories from you and Steve and you were reminded of the day of your break up. 

 

“Hey, Steve…” Bucky’s voice trailed off once he was you instead of Steve in his room tears running steadily from your eyes. “Oh, Y/N…” he mumbled seeing the lost and heartbroken look in your eyes. 

 

“I thought...I thought.” you tried to get out but your own words failed you as you cried and Bucky moved his arms wrapping around you in a second. 

 

“A small part of me hoped that he was gonna stop me...but he just…”  you took a shaky breath you head resting against his chest hands holding tight at the sides of his armour. “He just said ‘be safe’ and left…”

 

“I know, doll, I know.” Bucky mumbled kissing the top of your head and cursing his friend for the mess he had created for the both of you. 

 

* * *

 

Goodbyes were hard, every goodbye is even if you try to convince yourself it’s  _ a see you later _ . You hugged everyone promising to try and keep in touch even though it was gonna be hard and you tried to not let it show how much it bothered you that Steve wasn’t there. You didn’t expect him to be.

 

“If you ever need me…” you began looking at your team -Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Clint, Vision- “Just say the word and I’m there.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Natasha said speaking for everyone. “Go have your space experience, we’ll be here when you decide to come back.”

 

“Keep them in line, Stark.” you joked and Tony nodded.

 

“Always.”

 

With that you gave them one more smile before turning around and walking towards the Milano. You turned giving them a last wave which they returned and you got inside the door closing behind you. 

 

Everyone buckled down getting ready for take off and you took a deep breath steading yourself for your first trip to space. You looked around seeing Mantis in her chair next to her was Drax who was already asleep with Groot on his shoulder while Peter and Rocket were piloting the ship.

 

“Are you okay?” Gamora asked from next to you a soft comforting smile on her lips.

 

“I will be.” you replied just as the ship left the ground.

 

Meanwhile Steve was watching from the inside of the tower as the Milano took off a heavy feeling setting on his heart a knot forming in his stomach. 

 

“If you had asked her to stay she probably would have.” came a voice behind him but he didn’t bother to turn around just kept staring to the place the ship was a minute ago. 

 

“It’s for the better. She’s not safe with me.” He replied solemnly and Bucky let out a disgruntled noise.

 

“You know Steve…” came Sam’s voice this time “you’re our friend and we love you but letting her go is probably the biggest, most stupid mistake you have ever made.” he stated and Bucky agreed both of them sitting with their arms crossed. 

 

“I know guys, I know.” he shook his head tearing his gaze away from the empty lot and looked at his friends his eyes sad. “She made her decision and so did I.”

 

“She left.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait but here you go, part 2! Hope you enjoy and thank you all for reading and laving feedback <3

“Hey” you mumbled sitting to the place next to where Peter was piloting the ship handing him a drink which he took with a nod of appreciation.

“Thanks…” he opened it taking a few sips and leaving down on the floor next to him “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep…” you shrugged staring out at the dark sky. It has been four months since you had joined the Guardians and still you hadn’t gotten used to the view. “You never get used to this, do you?” you wondered out loud.

“A lot of things you don’t get used to in space.” Peter replied a cheeky tone lacing his words and you chuckled stealing a glance at him.

You sat there in silence which was something you’ve gotten used to doing. Over the past months it wasn’t uncommon to come and just sit there marvelling at the sky in front of you especially when sleep wouldn’t come. Sometimes it was nightmares, other you were thinking about how the Avengers were doing and others you just couldn’t stop thinking about Steve.

Although you had gotten better over the last four months and the distance between there were times when you’d see something that remind you of him and you simply couldn’t shake him from your thoughts even if you tried.

“Do you ever miss living on Earth?” you asked all of a sudden turning to look at Peter who shrugged his shoulders.

“I mean yeah sometimes...I miss the things me and my mom used to do but now with the Guardians we’re just one big dysfunctional family. You miss home?”

“I miss the Avengers…” you shrugged getting up and leaning at the wall behind you, eyes still focused at the sky in front of you “But I think I’m not ready to go back yet.” you look at Peter who put on the ship to autopilot and got up moving to stand in front of you his hands grasping you forearms.

“I think I speak from all of us when I say that you’re welcomed here as long as you like. Hell, you’re basically a Guardian now. Guardian and an Avenger.” he winked letting go of your arms and you almost teared up at what he had said.

“Thank you, Quill.” you squeezed his hand and he nodded pulling you into a quick hug before taking back his place behind the wheel.

“Want me to go put on some music?” you laughed at Peter’s expression his face pulled into a frustrated grimace if you could call it that.

“Yes, thank you.” he exclaimed shaking his head “Drax was supposed to change the tape but he must have forgotten it’s been killing me.”

“Star- Lord needs his tunes.” you laughed going to put on the music.

* * *

You were still sitting with Peter keeping him company and listening to his tunes when the music gradually stopped meaning his playlist was over and you frowned hearing a strange blinking noise.

“Hey, do you hear that?” you asked both of you stopping your actions and focused on the noise.

You got up following it when you came upon a blinking yellow light, the coded message channel. “Quill, come here. Quick!” you yelled and a few seconds later Peter was standing next to you staring with the same wide eyes as you at the channel.

“Five secret coded messages from the Avengers....” he muttered turning to you “Well, Y/N/N, looks like we’re going back to Earth.”

 

* * *

The coded messages were pretty vague so you didn’t know what to expect back on Earth. You had no idea if the situation was serious or how serious it was. Also you were nervous about seeing your old team mates again, you were afraid that they wouldn’t want you back...you were afraid that things changed those four months you were away. And, most of all you were afraid of seeing Steve again because even though you had convinced yourself you were over him, you didn’t know how you would react upon seeing him.

“We’re here!” Peter announced and you unbuckle your seatbelt getting up to take your things trying not to think what was waiting for you outside of that door.

“We’re only here because I got us through that meteor shower.” Rocket remarked and Peter rolled his eyes.

“I got us through that meteor shower because I am obviously the better pilot. Gamora tell him.” he argued and Gamora could only roll her eyes at the way those two where behaving.  “Drax come on...tell him.” Peter continued asking Drax for help once he saw that Gamora was not helping.

“I don’t know I fell asleep.” Drax shrugged and Peter groaned putting the subject aside for a moment and going to stand first in front of the ship’s closed door.

“Everyone ready?” he asked and you nodded even though you knew he couldn’t see you the rest of the team responding accordingly.

“I am Groot.” Groot said and Gamora leaned down to put him on her shoulder where he held on to her hair so as not to fall.

The door opened with Quill moving first and everyone else following leaving you the last to exit the ship. You took tentative steps trying to see who was waiting outside for the Guardians to arrive.

You could hear them greeting each other and you couldn’t understand why you were so nervous to face your old team. “Where’s Y/N? Please tell me you didn’t get her killed, Quill.” You heard Tony and you stepped forward showing yourself before Peter had a chance to reply.

“I’m right here, Stark. Miss me?” you smirked your nerves suddenly gone when Tony stepped forward and hugged you muttering a ‘good to see you kid’ before pulling back and holding you at arms length.

“You good?” he asked looking you up and down checking for injuries or anything out of the ordinary.

“I’m good.” you confirmed nodding your head. “I missed you guys.” you exclaimed looking behind him at Natasha, Wanda, Clint, Sam, Bruce and… “Thor!” you yelled you almost ran to the god of thunder hugging him as best as you could with your height difference. “You’re back! It’s so good to see you!” you continued hearing Thor’s booming laugh next to your ear.

“Lady Y/N! It is good to finally see you as well.” he smiled his eyes crinkling at the sides “Tony told me you went to space with the Guardians. You must tell me all about your travels, space can be an exciting place.”

“Oh, you have no idea. I have so many stories to tell you.” you said looking at the Avengers not letting it bother you that Steve wasn’t there. “Where’s the rest of the team?” you asked seeing Natasha smirking out of the corner of your eye.

“They had to take care of something with Fury, but they’ll be back shortly.” she explained and Tony urged you all to follow him inside.

* * *

“So?” Gamora asked gaining everyone’s attention in the common room “Are you gonna tell us what’s going on?”

“Yes, but let’s just wait for Cap to return. He’ll be here in a few.” Tony replied and you stared at him face pulled in a frown.

You kept an eye on Tony who seemed somewhat on edge while trying to keep it together and not stress about Steve returning any minute now. You looked around the room watching the Guardians socializing with the Avengers and you wondered if you’d stay here of leave again when whatever was going on was over.

“Cap!” Tony suddenly announced and your eyes snapped eyes and Steve’s locked with your a look a surprise passing before them but he quickly composed himself and nodded at Tony.

“I’m glad you guys came.” he greeted the Guardians his eyes lingering on you where you all but runned towards the man standing next to him.

“Bucky!” you exclaimed wrapping your eyes around him for a quick hug.

“How’ve you been, doll? Everything okay?”

“Good...yeah.” his eyes left you for a moment and you followed his gaze watching Steve looking at you with a longing in his eyes remembering the days where you would run into his arms when he came back from a mission.

Steve cleared his throat shooting a look at Tony who in returned nodded before calling you into the briefing room and you got a sense of deja vu from the last time you were there with the Guardians.

“Now that we’re all here.” Tony began face serious and you began to worry fearing the worst. “You all remember our last mission four months ago I presume…” he made a motion with his hand and several images pulled up in the screen in front of you. “It seems our friends are back and more powerful.”

Tony continued explaining the situation your eyes worried and focused on the screen in front of you. He told you he didn’t know the extent of the situation but it was serious, end of the world serious and all of you agreed when he asked if you were in or out. How could you be out? It was your job to protect the world and you weren’t going to back out now.

“When we get there, we’ll need to split into teams…” Steve said standing next to Tony.

“Don’t worry Cap.” Quill cut him off wrapping his arm around your shoulder Steve’s eyes hardening at the sight “Me and Y/N make a really good team.” he teased which resulted with you rolling your eyes and Gamora sighing loudly.

“Anyway…” Steve snapped giving you a look before continuing with the plan.

* * *

When you were done you moved back to the common room Tony insisting on having fun because it was possibly your last day on Earth and to be honest you really needed a drink.

“Would you calm down?” Wanda stood next to you  nursing a drink “I can practically feel you freaking out.”

“Sorry.” you sighed playing with the label on your beer. “I just...if this really is our last day, my last day. If I die tomorrow…” Wanda looked at you a sad smile covering her lips.

“I know, Y/N.” she sympathised.

“I should be over him, right? God, I am so stupid!” you grumbled running your free hand through your hair.

“Y/N...maybe you should talk to him. If Tony is right and the situation is indeed a life or death one...he needs to know you’re still in love with him.” she spoke in a low voice so only you could hear her.

“But he’s the one who broke up with me.” you protested arms wrapping around yourself defensively your emotions getting out of control.

“You know he hasn’t been the same ever since you left.” your head snapped up in surprize and you urged her to explain more “He’s been closed off. Taking mission after mission...he’s different and not good different.” she noted finishing off her drink leaving you alone to think about what she had just confided in you.

Without thinking much about it you finished your beer leaving it at the table next to you and looked around the room searching for Steve. You spotted him standing on the other side of the room talking with Sam, Bucky and Natasha his hands resting on his belt. Walking towards him you tried not to think much about what you were going to do, not that you had a plan, but you just couldn’t go to the mission tomorrow if Steve didn’t know how you really felt.

“I need to talk to you.” you stated standing in front of him ignoring the looks your friends gave you otherwise you would have lost your nerve.

“Um…” Steve searched for words startled for a moment his mouth opening and closing and suddenly Bucky nudged him in the ribs which brought him back in reality. “Yeah…”

Steve turned around and you followed him to the hallway leading to the bedrooms when he abruptly came to a stop and faced you. He leaned against the wall waiting for you to say whatever it was you wanted to say.

“Steve...I wanted to…” you stammered fingers running through your hair unable to get the words out.

“Are you and Quill together?” he asked catching off guard.

“What?” you said shocked with the accusation.

“I’m just wondering...since you make such a really good team.” he replied using air quotes to emphasise Peter’s earlier words.

“God, you’re such a jerk sometimes Rogers.” you growled “I came here to tell you I’m still in love with you and you say this? How dare you play this card on me when you’re the one who broke up with me in the first place?” you accused and he shook his head leaving and walking towards his bedroom but you wouldn’t let him off that easy.

“Come back Rogers. You can’t just say this to me and then leave.” you followed him catching the door just as he went to close it entering his bedroom and closing the door behind you not wanting everyone to hear the argument that was bound to happen.

As always Steve’s room was clean his bed neatly made nothing that would imply what Wanda told you, that he wasn’t himself. He took off his jacket placing in the closet acting like you weren’t there which pissed you off even more.

“Stop ignoring me, Steve.” you sighed tired at the way he was acting.

“I don’t know what you want me to say…” he replied shrugging his shoulders “We need to rest we have a tough mission tomorrow.” he dismissed you but you shook your head mumbling a ‘no’.

“No!” you said more firmly “You’re not gonna do this again.” you exclaimed frustrated your voice rising “When you broke up with me I didn’t say a word but you’re not doing this again, Steve.” he stood frozen in his spot staring at you when he saw the tears gathering in your eyes.

“We might die tomorrow and I’m stupid enough to come here, even though I know you don’t want me and you don’t feel the same, to pour my heart out to you because I know if I don’t I’ll regret it and you accuse me of being in a relationship with Quill. Which matter of fact... I’m not.” when he didn’t say a word and simply stared at the floor you decided you should keep what was left of your pride and leave.

“I’m tired of trying Steve...Goodnight.”

You were just about to open the door when you heard his voice, “I didn’t broke up with you because I didn’t love you…” he admitted and you turned around shocked at what he had just said.

“What did you just say?” you asked moving and standing in front of him.

“I said...I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t love you, I did it because I wanted to protect you.” you stared at his red rimmed eyes in disbelief.

“What do you mean?” you almost whispered your voice refusing to go any higher.

“I mean that you took a bullet that was meant for me and you almost bled out in my arms...I couldn’t have you risk your life for me...so…” he trailed off running a hand through his face.

“So you broke up with me for that?” you voice suddenly rose “Dammit Steve!” you cursed “I could seriously punch you right now.” you admitted wondering why he hadn’t simply talked to you but chose to break up with you instead.  “You could have talked to me! Why did you make a decision for both of us? You had no right! You broke both our hearts, how could you do this?” you cried, Steve’s heart breaking at the pain he was causing you once again.

“You’re right...and if it makes you feel any better punch me, yell at me anything you want.” he opened his arms as an invitation to do whatever you wanted to do to him.

You were angry and hurt as you took a big step towards him Steve’s eyes closing and waiting for the impact. You took him by his collar standing as best as you could on your toes bring your lips to his. Steve was frozen for a moment before collecting himself his lips melting with yours, arms falling at his sides.

“Y/N…” he pulled back looking at you questionly and you saw a few tears in his eyes, tears you had felt mixing with your when you kissed him.

“Just kiss me.” you said out of breath and he looked intently into your eyes before bringing one of his hand behind your head pulling your lips together in a long awaited kiss.

You arms wrapped around his neck as his free arm shaked around your waist pulling you closer to him. Your lips moving desperately against each other trying to make up for lost time, Steve parting your lips urgently your tongues tangling together in a passionate kiss.

He didn’t need anymore guidance as he picked you up your legs wrapping around his waist putting on the bed and laying on top of you tomorrows mission forgotten as you got lost in each other after a long time.

* * *

You laid in the dark your head resting on Steve’s bare chest his arm wrapped around you lightly stroking your shoulder. You arm was wrapped around his stomach, legs tangled together but none of you spoke. You were both silent thinking about what had just happened, and what was to come the day after.

Everything had changed when Steve told you he was still in love with you, when he finally told you the truth about why he had broken up with you. You knew you had some things to figure out but you wanted to try, you wanted to be with him again.

“What are you thinking about?” came Steve’s voice breaking the silence and you moved leaning up on your elbow so you could look at him.

“Stuff.” you shrugged and he gave you a look. “Us, the team,tomorrow.”

Steve moved to a sitting position the sheet shifting beneath him and took your face in his hands. “Tell me.”

“It’s just...what are we gonna do, what are we gonna tell the team? What if something bad happens tomorrow?” you replied and he gave you a nod understanding your concerns.

“We’re gonna be honest...with each other and with the team.” he leaned down leaving a soft kiss to your lips your hands tightening around the sheet that was covering your body. “And you know I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

“That’s what brought us here in the first place…” you raised your eyebrows and Steve let out a small laugh.

“Okay, you’re right but nothing is gonna happen tomorrow.” he assured you “We have two teams working together and we have a plan that Tony made. We’re gonna be fine.”

“Promise?” you asked feeling like a little child but you needed him to tell you.

“I promise.” he said his voice sincere before glancing at the clock “Come on, we need to sleep for a couple hours before saving the world...again.” he added laying down and taking you with him.  

“You’re not as funny as you think, Rogers.” you shot back and you felt a small pinch to your ribs. “Hey!” you looked at Steve who had his eyes closed and a playful smile on his lips knowing even without looking the look that would be on your face.

“Get some sleep.” he ordered and you laid down hugging him a little bit tighter him doing the same before drifting off.

* * *

“Well look who’s here.” Sam voice when you entered the room Steve following behind you dressed in his Captain America suit.

All of the Avengers and the Guardians were in the same room getting geared up before the mission with you and Steve coming in last and after Sam’s comment turned a few heads.

“It’s Captain America and Y/N.” said Drax voice completely serious. “Why should we be looking at them?”

“No, man it’s...I didn’t mean it like that.” Sam failed to explain his joke and Drax simply went back to his business.

“Just let it out of your system before the mission guys.” you said standing in front of Steve waiting for the team to let you have it.

“We weren’t going to say anything, really.” Bucky spoke a smirk on his face.

“Sure you weren’t, Barnes.” you replied moving forward to where your staff was Quill winking at you which only made you to roll your eyes at him.

“Y/N, you forgot this at the ship.” Gamora spoke from your left handing you the leather thigh holster.

“Thanks.” you said taking a few steps behind and releasing the sword from the holster.

“Woah,what is that?” Sam asked and you saw everyone looking at you expectantly, Steve with raised eyebrows.

“A sword. I have a sword now. Gamora taught me how to use it.” you shrugged like it was nothing putting it back in the holster and strapping it around your left thigh.

“Alright.” Tony said before anyone else had a chance to comment “Shall we get a move on?”

Everyone nodded getting the last of their things before moving to get out of the room and to the ships.

“You know, you look really good with that sword.” whispered Steve next to your ear as you were walking towards the hangar bay and you turned winking at him.

“Thanks.” he grabbed your hand before you could move any further.

“Just...be careful out there, okay?” you could see the worry in his eyes and you nodded stepping closer to him placing your hands on his chest.

“I promise.” you replied taking his face in your hands when you felt his going around your waist pulling you closer. “Be careful too, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you as well, Rogers.”

“I promise.” he said and leaned down to kiss you.

* * *

 

 

You didn’t know how or what had happened. When you arrived at the location you were split into teams and in the beginning the plan was working, maybe it was working a little bit too well. There was a crushing sound and suddenly the place was filled with Hydra agents all firing at you with weapons you’ve never seen before. 

You looked to your right seeing Steve fighting off three agents and you didn’t hesitate to attack the fourth one you show coming the sword moving with you as one. Bucky and Natasha were to your left soon you couldn’t keep track of where your teammates where, everything was turning into chaos.

“Guys, we need backup.” Tony said through the comms and you tried to find a familiar face only to spot Natasha finishing off a Hydra agent before responding.

“I’m on my way, Stark.” and with that she disappeared giving you a nod before you went back to fighting your way to the room where the weapons were held, or so you thought.

“Y/N!” you heard Steve screaming your name and you turned seeing his shield coming towards you and you grabbed it easily spotting the agent about to shoot at you. You deflected the hit Bucky going closer and easily taking him down.

“Thanks.” you gave him back the shield Bucky joining you looking at the floor covered in Hydra agents.

“Stark we’re clear.” Steve informed him “We’re about to go in.”

He got no reply and you shrugged going towards the door and pressing the button to open it. The door open instantly and you hesitated, this was too easy.

“That’s too easy, isn’t it?” Bucky asked looking at the both of you and you nodded in confirmation Steve doing the same placing his shield on his back.

“Never remember it being so easy.”

You made a move to take a step when and explosion went of sending all three of you back and falling on the hard pavement.

“Are you guys okay?” Bucky groaned while getting up offering you a hand to help you which you accepted.

“We’re okay.” you replied once you saw Steve was up as well pressing his finger to his ear.

“Stark! What the hell is going on?” he asked but again got no reply his face getting annoyed and more angry by the minute. “Stark! Do you copy?” he barked and you heard the static in your ear before you heard Tony.

“Yeah, um, we got a problem.” Tony spoke his voice on edge.

“What kind of a problem?” Steve demanded and your face paled when you heard Tony’s next words.

“They detonated some alien weapons. You need to get out fast the building will go down in less than a minute.”

“Shit!” Bucky muttered and you looked at each other Steve pushing you forward before you had any time to think urging you and Bucky to run.

You couldn’t help but glance behind you to check if Steve was still following you, you heart beating so fast you thought it was gonna jump out of your chest fearing that you wouldn’t make it out of here.

“Steve!” you yelled when you heard gunshots the building starting to shake. “Steve!” you yelled again both you and Bucky turning around and going to help him to fight the agents that just wouldn’t give up.

Steve noticed how close the building was to collapsing and pushed you and Bucky towards the exit. “Go!Go! Bucky, get her out of here!” he ordered his best friend and you yelled in protest.

“No, I’m not leaving you.” you shook your head Steve deflecting a hit with his shield.

“Steve…” Bucky tried to argue shooting at the direction the agents were.

“Y/N, do what I tell you. I’m right behind you. Just go, Bucky, take her!”

When Bucky saw there was no room to argue he took your hand running towards the exit escaping the debris that was falling from the collapsing building. You glanced behind you not seeing Steve anywhere and you tried to free your hand and go back but Bucky squeezed your hand tighter determined to do what his best friend told him even if he himself wanted to go back.

As you made your first few steps outside you saw the rest of the Avengers and the Guardians struggling to get outside most of them helping each other. You reached everyone looking at one another to make sure everyone was here, but one wasn’t.

“Where’s Cap?” Tony asked and you turned around hopeful to see him coming outside only to see the building collapsing.

“No! Steve!” you screamed going to run towards the now fallen building only for two arms to stop you. “Let me go! Steve!” you cried fighting against Bucky’s hold.

“We gotta go find him.” you sobbed looking around seeing everyone with a sombre look on their faces. “Why are you looking like that? We gotta go and find him.”

“Y/N, a building fell on him...I don’t think.” Quill spoke shaking his head.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” you threatened him feeling your heart breaking just at the thought that you might not see Steve again. “Fine! I’ll go search for him myself then.” you left them hearing Bucky yelling your name before you heard his footsteps following you, because he wasn’t going to leave his best friend.

You heard a noise and you looked up seeing Tony, Thor, Quill, Sam and everyone that could go airborne searching the debris for any clue while the rest stayed on the ground. You heart continued to beat like crazy while you searched for Steve fearing the worst but not wanting to believe it.

“I think I found him.” Tony said and you run to where you saw him going down moving a few rocks. “Wanda, Thor help me move this.” he ordered and you took a few steps back willing yourself to stay calm everyone else circling around the spot.

“I see him.” Wanda spoke and you all but flew there seeing Steve covered in dust and cuts his uniform covered in blood in different spots.

“Steve!” you kneeled down taking his face in your hands praying that he would move, that he would do something to prove he’s alive. “Steve, come on. Come on.” you mumbled tears running heavily down your cheeks and falling on his unconscious face.

“Y/N, we’ve got to take him but to the ship.” Bucky mumbled next to you pulling you up and you nodded through the tears.

You saw Bucky lifting him up but the shoulders Thor and Sam helping while Tony rushed back to the ship to get every medical supply you were going to need ready. You followed behind eyes focused on Steve’s face praying for him to open his eyes, to be okay.

* * *

You were all in the medbay waiting for any news about Steve your leg moving up and down anxiously head betweens your legs. You couldn’t believe this was happening, not right now, not when you had just gotten back together.

The waiting was killing you and you crandled the hot cup of coffee Gamora had given a few minutes ago in your hands unable to even take a small sip. Everyone looked at you in concern but the also knew to not talk at you right now, all you wanted right now was to be alone.

You heard a door closing and you looked up seeing Dr. Cho coming out. You stood up leaving the cup of coffee next to you as everyone circled the doctor.

“Is he okay?” your hands were shaking eyes filling with tears.

“He’s going to be okay.” she said looking at the team and then at you “The super soldier serum has kicked in but he will be out for a few hours.”

“Can I see him?” you asked Bucky nodding next to you as if he wanted to ask the same question.

“Of course. All of you can see him but for a little while.”

You eagerly followed behind her not caring to see who was following you even though you were sure Bucky and Sam were.She opened a door and you entered your heart breaking at the state Steve was in. This is how he must have felt when you were the one injured and laying on that bed.

You moved to his side taking his hand in yours and kissing his knuckles taking a sit at the chair next to the bed determined to not leave his side. Everyone stayed for a few minutes wanting to make sure the Captain was okay before leaving you alone with him.

A few hours passed and you stayed like that holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up. “Steve, please wake up. Please, honey you have to wake up.” you mumbled your eyes getting teary.

“Come on, Steve. Please.” you pleaded eyes looking down at your joined hands.

“Hey…” it was small, it was broken and it was coarse but you heard it and you eyes snapped up seeing Steve struggling to open his eyes groaning as he tried moving.

“Steve! Oh my God!” you almost yelled “You’re awake.” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding getting up and cupping his face in your hands stroking his cheeks. 

“You think I’d go that easily?” a ghost of a smile played at his lips and you shook your head smile through your tears of relief.

“No, no of course not.” you breathed leaning down and kissing his lips. “I love you.” you said when you pulled back waiting for his reaction.

“I love you, too, doll.” he replied one of his hands going to the back of your neck pushing your lips closer to his and he kissed you this time harder than before the fear of losing one another evident in the action.

“Are you okay?” he asked checking you for wounds.

“I’m fine.” you replied. “You scared me...I finally realized how you felt when it was me.” you admitted and he looked at you taking your hands in his.

“I’m sorry, it will never happen again, I promise.” you squeezed his hands as a reply and he changed the subject asking how everyone else was and if the mission was completed.

After a while you saw he was getting tired and you wanted to give him space to rest but he grabbed your hand when you made a move to leave the bed.

“Come lay down with me.” he asked you and you looked hesitantly at him.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” you replied but he only tugged you closer.

“You won’t come on.” he said again and you agreed Steve moving a little bit to the right to make more room for you.

You laid on your side as close to him as you could and Steve wrapped his arm around you hugging you closer to him your joined hands resting over his heart and right in that moment you felt complete, like nothing could touch you.

“Steve?” you mumbled and he hummed kissing your forehead. “I’m glad you’re okay.” you lifted your head staring into his eyes that were now looking intently at yours filled with emotion.

“I’m glad too.” he gave you a soft smile and despite it being difficult you managed to move your head up a little and kiss him before assuming your previous position both of you falling asleep with smiles on your faces.


End file.
